Tales From the Fish Bowl

Dave and I have been married now for close to 4 years, and in those 4 years we have had several pets…they have all been fish.

I do not like fish. I think they are:

• Cold
• Slimy
• Icky
• Poopy
• Smelly

But because we have been renters this entire time, fish have really been our only option as far as pets go. My husband likes fish, so he doesn’t mind, and because I am such a good wife ;) I have gone along with it. To my surprise, our fish have provided some unexpected entertainment.

Our first fish were a pair of “jewel fish”. We got, unbeknownst to us, a male fish and a female fish, and – also unbeknownst to us – they did what male and females in every species do and they reproduced. Yup. They had babies. I’m so proud of that female fish – she carried those babies so well, we never knew she was pregnant. One day, Dave just happened to notice that there seemed to be an unusual amount of “dirt” in the tank, but upon closer examination, we saw that the “dirt” was actually swimming around! We had literally hundreds of fish. I kid you not. We ended up selling them to a pet store and made $20.00! Not too shabby!

I did not mention that living in the tank at the same time as our jewel fish and their little baby factory, was also another fish who I, at first, felt a little sorry for. His official name is “Tigger” but we have always just called him “The Orange Fish” (can you guess what color he is? :) When the jewel fish (whose official names were “Chubs” and “Jaws”) had their babies, they became extremely protective of them, and they chased The Orange Fish all over the tank, biting his tail anytime he got too close. In their defense, I think he was trying to eat their kids – you can’t really blame them for being a little overprotective.

At any rate, The Orange Fish became a hermit. He lived in the log in the middle of our tank and NEVER CAME OUT. I mean, we never even saw him eat. We sort of wondered if he died but we couldn’t find the body. Eventually Chubs and Jaws died, and The Orange Fish decided it was safe to come out of hiding.

Now, I don’t know what happened to him in that log, but I THINK it made him just a lil’ crazy.

For example – we got two more fish from Dave’s brother. These were my favorite. They were white and orange little “Oscar” fish, and they were as cute as fish can be (which still is really…not that cute:)

I think what I liked most about them was how much they loved to eat – I can relate to a fish like that ;) If they saw you getting the food out, they would literally swim to the top of the tank and almost “pant” for the food like a dog.

These fish died, and there is considerable debate in our house as to what caused the death. Dave thinks they got “Tail Rot” – a fish disease. I think – no, I KNOW, in my heart, that The Orange Fish killed them. I’m sure of it. I saw him chasing them and biting them. I even tried to tell him, “No!” (Fish only have a three second memory though, so I gave up on that pretty quickly :)

After these fish died, The Orange Fish, who I now secretly refer to as “Killer” decided that not only did he not like other fish, he also did not like US, the people who feed him and clean his tank and keep him alive! Every time we walked by he would dart under his little log and peer out at us with his beady little eyes.

He has now acquired a number of extremely strange behaviors. Sometimes he will swim rapidly from the top of the tank to the bottom and back again – over, and over, and over, and over. Once, when Dave took the log out to clean it, we came home to find the strange little fellow hiding behind a fortress of rocks. He had actually picked the rocks up in his mouth and spit them out until he made a little pile in the corner of the tank to duck behind.

Sometimes, when Dave isn’t around I tell this fish, “You are on thin ice Mister. I could say the word and you’d be gone. You better shape up and start being more friendly!” I don’t know…maybe I’m the reason he went into hiding.

I think it’s time for us to get a dog :)