How ‘Bout Some New Year’s Resolutions?

Yes, I know it’s January 19th. And yes I know everyone else posted their New Year’s Resolutions, like, at the beginning of the New Year. I just am a lazy procrastinator like to be fashionably late.

Quite honestly, I know you probably don’t care all that much about my goals for the year. But I’m not posting them for you as much as I’m posting them for me. To keep me accountable.

So without further ado, here are some of my goals for 2010:

FINANCIALLY

1. As a couple: save enough money to pay cash for our next vehicle.
   
   It’s very likely that sometime in the next couple of years we are going to need a bigger car. Dare I say it? Maybe even a mini-van. *Shudder*
   
   
2. Personally: Take weekly grocery budget from $80.00 to $50.00. I’ve actually already got a great start on this thanks to Crystal’s site, but I’ve still got a ways to go.
   
   My plan of action:
   -- use the “envelope system” and only pay cash for groceries
   -- deposit any leftover money into our “new vehicle” savings account

SPIRITUALLY

1. Be more consistent with my quiet time. In the past, my devotions have been at whatever point in the day I could squeeze them in. This does not work well for me. I need a routine.
   
   My plan of action:
   -- wake up early. Ideal time is 5:30. So far real time has been more like 6:30. Baby steps.
   
   
2. Prayer. Would it be right to say I’m not “good” at prayer? I don’t mean the actual act of praying – I know it doesn’t matter how eloquent you are {or aren’t}.
   
   I mean that I’m not “good” at the discipline aspect. At actually setting aside the time to do it and then keeping my mind from wandering to my “to do” list or whatever else is fighting for my attention.
   
   My friend Mandi put this quote on her blog and I think it pretty adequately describes me:
   
   "It's fun to talk about prayer and easy to think about prayer. But to actually put your feet - and heart - on the pathway to prayer, to make your desire to pray a reality, requires discipline." Elizabeth George
   
   I’m starting a new book that I’m really excited about which I hope will help:
   
   
   

PHYSICALLY

1. Exercise at least 5 days a week. I’m doing surprisingly well with this one – I’ve only missed a total of 3 days since December 28th.
   
   My plan of action:
   --Let Jillian boss me around every weekday {except Wednesday}
   --On Wednesdays, focus on my abs with this DVD:
2. Drink more water and less pop. Pretty self explanatory. Limiting myself to drinking pop only once a week.
   
3. Try at least one new healthy recipe a month.
   This cookbook will help me out with that:
   
   This one will NOT:
   
4. Find and make a good recipe for whole wheat bread. I’m bound and determined to conquer my fear of yeast. Yeah, I said it. I am afraid of yeast. But that’s a whole different post.

I’ve got a list as long as my arm of other things I want to do, but this post is long enough – I’ll save those for another day. Aren’t you excited? :)

So what are some of your New Year’s Resolutions?

It's Like Looking In A Mirror Sometimes

The other day I was finishing up some things in the kitchen while Lily played underfoot. I had given her some toys to play with but she had abandoned them for something that had a much greater allure...mommy's purse.

Mommy's purse is a forbidden object, which, naturally, makes it all the more enticing. When she thought I wasn't paying attention, Lily dived in enthusiastically and started pulling out all sorts of objects.

 Pens! Lotion! Kleenex! Receipts! Feminine products *ahem*! And then the motherload...mommy's pocketbook....ooohh. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she sneaked a peek at me to see if I was watching...I was.

{Why yes, I sometimes struggle with consistency in discipline whyever do you ask?}

{In my defense, my hands were dirty. I couldn't have stopped her if I wanted.}

{And besides, it was kind of funny}

{Anyway}

As it turns out, Lily soon found out that disobedience often has some natural consequences....

Literally tangled in the cords of her own sin. That forbidden object lost some of it's allure when she realized she was trapped and unable to get herself out.

Hmmm...come to think of it, she sounds an awful lot like someone else I know...

How often have I gotten tangled up in my own sin only to call out in distress to the very One whose commands I have disobeyed?

What a privilege it is to be able to demonstrate the same grace to my daughter that my Heavenly Father has extended to me!

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"--and you forgave the guilt of my sin

Psalm 32:5

Adorable Little Sinner

We've all seen them. The parents whose children can do no wrong.

"Johnny is just the sweetest little boy. Always thinking of others, " the mom declares with her back turned as Johnny pummels the little boy in the nursery, grabbing his toy and screaming, "MINE!"

Maybe you've never met one of these ignorant souls yourself, but having worked at a middle school -- even for 2 short years -- I can tell you with certainty that they exist.

I'll never forget one of them -- she stormed into the office one afternoon, indignant that her daughter was being accused of alcohol abuse. "I know my daughter," she said. "She would NEVER do something like this. Those girls are making up stories about her."

I don't know for a fact that her daughter was drinking alcohol, but I do know this -- just 2 weeks later that same mom was back in the school office. Her daughter was in the nurse's office hyped up on some prescription medicine (not prescribed to her) that some kid had peddled her from his backpack.

It was a real eye opener for that mom -- and not a moment too soon.

I had an eye opening experience of my own just the other day.

It was mealtime for Lily and I was putting her in her high chair. The problem? Lily did not want to be in her high chair. And she let me know. Oh boy did she let me know!

She arched her back.

She shook her head.

She made angry noises.

She kicked her legs.

And then she BIT me.

Yes, BIT me. With all two of her teeth.

I just sat there staring at her. This 10 month old going on the Terrible Two's. And after a very stern, "No!" accompanied by a "Mommy-is-serious-and-you'd-best-not-be-doing-that-again" look, I thought to myself:

"Where in heaven's name did that come from? Who are you and what have you done with my sweet baby girl?"

Up to this point, discipline issues have been minimal. We aren't afraid to tell her no -- and we do, when she touches things she shouldn't, etc. But willful disobedience? That's only happened in my nightmares. I've known that it has been coming -- this sweet honeymoon period of good behavior and unquestioned obedience can only last for so long.

Yet I still found myself echoing the thoughts of that mom, "I know my daughter. She would never do that."

But she did. And I was staring her in the face when she did it.

It should come as no surprise. When the Bible says that "All have sinned" it means all. We are born with a natural bent towards our own way. Nobody has to teach us to be selfish -- just observe a roomful of toddlers someday and you'll quickly see that man's natural tendency is not to "Do unto others."

So why was this display of temper such a shock to my system? I think, when it comes down to it, it was a matter of pride for me. My daughter's behavior is a reflection on me as a parent. If she behaves badly, well, it reflects badly on my parenting.

Much as I hate to admit it, this inicident probably isn't as isolated as I think. If I honestly evaluate my actions, give myself a little constructive criticism, I think I'll find there are areas of discipline that I need to improve on. Little behaviors that, if ignored can lead up to a big fat temper tantrum at mealtime. I just need to put on my big girl panties and admit that *gasp* I'm not a perfect parent.

At the same time, I also need to recognize that even if I were a perfect parent, God has endowed my little baby girl with something called free will. That means despite my best efforts, there are still going to be moments where she is stubborn as a mule and a little hot headed. She comes by it naturally, I'm afraid -- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

And so I pray. For wisdom, patience, grace, mercy...and oh yes, did I mention wisdom and patience?

And I'm forever thankful for the example of the One who is a perfect parent. He's seen more than His fair share of temper tantrums from me and yet He keeps loving me, guiding me, and doing what's best for me, even when I throw a fit. I can only hope to live up to the example He has set for me!

P.S. For those wondering where I've been the past few days -- it's a long story -- but basically, the power cord to our laptop broke and we were given the option of either paying $80 for the one they had in the store, or waiting a week to have the one that was covered in our warranty shipped to us for FREE. I don't have to tell you which option we chose.

My Split Personalities

Well, I’m back...didn't take me as long as I thought it would. I'm at least somewhat organized now. Not as much as I’d like to be, but I am NEVER as organized as I want to be – I need to learn to deal with it :)

Anyway, I did get much accomplished BUT my To Do list is never ending and it just got longer because….drum roll please....we bought a house! Not just a house -- we bought our very first house, all our own!

Yup. I’m so excited! I really am. But reality has set in and just thinking about the amount of work we have to do between now and the time we move has me in a state of sheer exhaustion.

I am determined to make this move as orderly as possible…but I have said that every time we moved and it has always seemed to end up being an experience just slightly under the level of utter chaos. Every. Single. Time.

We always start with “The Plan”. It usually goes something like this: I tell my husband that I plan on packing up as much as I possibly can ahead of time, and we can move those “non-essentials” first, and unpack them into the new place at a leisurely pace. Then on The Big Moving Day, we pack up the rest of the bare necessities, get together some strong guys and a few trucks for the big stuff, they take care of moving while the ladies stay at the new place and unpack.

My inner Perfectionist LOVES this plan. It is designed to minimize clutter, which drives me CRAZY and maximize the use of our time. Unfortunately, my inner Procrastinator, well, she’s got ideas of her own. And thanks to her, every move we’ve ever made (all have just been across town) has gone something like this:

I start packing our “non-essentials”. The problem is, this usually includes things like our office supplies, magazines, and books. The books prove to be too great a distraction. As I’m pulling them off the shelves I’m thinking, “I forgot we had this book. I need to read that sometime.” I do this with a couple of books until one REALLY catches my attention and I start flipping through the pages. Dave usually comes home to find me on the floor surrounded by partially filled boxes, thoroughly engrossed in whatever it was that distracted me.

Day Two: I start once again with good intentions, but this time it’s the magazines that catch my eye. I end up making a list of new recipes I’d like to try and tagging a few pages with hairstyles I love, and, if I’m lucky, packing another box or two.

By moving day, I’ve usually only got about half of what I had hoped to packed, which means instead of being at the new place to unpack and help direct the guys as to where I’d like the furniture placed, I end up frantically shoving things in boxes so they can be ready to go by the time they get back for the next load.

The Perfectionist is screaming, “You just packed a box full of glass vases and put them in a box without taping the bottom,” and the Procrastinator is screaming back, “There’s no TIME, shove a towel in there and mark it Fragile!”

When I finally get to the new place, the bedroom furniture is in the living room, all the boxes marked Kitchen wound up in the basement, and there is enough clutter to drive a pack rat up a wall. At this point the Perfectionist in me has retreated to some far corner of my mind in defeat and the Procrastinator throws herself down on the bed in exhaustion and says, “Let’s take care of this tomorrow."

As I said, utter chaos.

Well, not this time!! I have 2 weeks until we close and 3 weeks until Big Moving Day. It’s time for my Perfectionist to flex her muscles and show the Procrastinator who’s boss for once. (Right after I finish this cup of hot cocoa….;)

An Algabraic Equation

Well, I’m officially on my second week of being a stay at home mommy! I’ve already learned some things – the main one being that….the computer is my number one distraction. I am sure this comes as no shock to you all, given the excessive amount of posting I did on my blog last week (and that is not to mention time frittered away on Facebook :) – but…I’m a slow learner.

THIS WEEK, I’m going to learn from my mistakes. I’ve devised a little checklist of questions to ask myself BEFORE I turn the computer on:

1. Have you spent time with God today? (Check)
2. Have you packed Dave’s lunch and gave him a hug and a kiss before he left for work? (Check, check)
3. Have you cuddled, played with, fed, and diapered Lily before her morning nap? (Check, check, check)
4. Is your house reasonably clean with the exception of whatever the day’s project(s) might be? (DRAT!!!!!)

I’m afraid that the cleanliness of my house is inversely proportionate to the amount of time spent on the computer…unfortunately right now that proportion looks like this: AMOUNT OF TIME ON COMPUTER > cleanliness of house. (Who says algebra is not applicable in everyday life? I knew those classes would pay off! :)

So my friends, I’m shutting off the computer and you will not see me on here until things are more in order.

Don’t cry. It’s for the best. When I come back I will have LOADS more random thoughts (some might call it mindless drivel, you pick :) to unleash on you (yeah, I just know you are gonna be on the edge of your seats!)

Happy Monday!

P.S. Regarding the title of this post -- no I don't know for certain that "algabraic" is an actual word but I am using it anyway because...well, because I can. Using made-up words is part of my "strategery". OK, I'M SHUTTING OFF THE COMPUTER NOW!

A Heavenly Spanking

I have been going through the book of Ephesians in my daily devotions lately, and I have to tell you right now I am really NOT enjoying it.

It’s making me uncomfortable.

It’s making me feel bad about myself.

It is revealing who I am, and right now there are parts of the picture that just ain’t pretty.

The verses I read today feel like the worst verses EVER. I don’t want to think about them, but I can’t get them out of my head.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3-4)

There are lots of different applications to these verse. LOTS. What is God teaching me here? So much…I don’t know if I can capsulize it, but I’ll try (mincing words is not my forte :)

These verses say that there should be not even a hint of sexual immorality, any kind of impurity, greed, obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking. NOT EVEN A HINT. There really isn’t a lot of wiggle room there. Not even a hint means – no hint – zero, zip, none, nada, NOTHING.

Which means I should first, not be participating in these behaviors – not really an issue for me right now. It also means (and here’s where it gets rough for me) I should not be joking about, or listening to others joke about these kinds of things.

I’ve let myself become complacent in some areas – I’ve let myself get “used” to hearing a lot of inappropriate things, and I’m speaking mainly about things I watch on TV, and these are things that should make me uncomfortable to hear about. And they don’t. At least, not as much as they used to. I won’t say more today because I’m still mulling it over. If I tried to type everything I’m thinking, this would be the longest post EVER. Maybe there will be more in the days to come when I’ve had time to work through some things.

I also read in Proverbs today and found great comfort in these verses:

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in (Proverbs 3:11-12)

I am so thankful I serve a God who cares enough to correct me. Like a mother who bats her child’s hand away from a hot stove, God is a Father who loves His children enough to say “No,” when they are doing what’s bad for them. My momentary discomfort and guilt is for my own good, and if I know what’s good for me, I will listen and not be a stubborn toddler throwing a temper tantrum because I’m not getting my way. I pray that my response to His correction is one that is pleasing to Him!

Until next time…