Apparently I’m The Queen of Freak Accidents

I mean, if you’ve been around me long enough, you’ve probably already figured that out.

I told you about how I branded myself with a curling iron in high school.

And how I broke my wrist.

Oh wait, I never actually told you how I broke my wrist…there’s a reason for that. It’s embarrassing.

Short story – my knee popped out of place (it does that sometimes. It hurts. Really bad.)

I fell.

While I was taking my pants off.

Landed on my wrist.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I had to tell that story and every time I wished I had a better opening than, “Well, I was taking off my pants...”

(You know like, “One day in kickboxing class” or “Last week while snow skiing.”)

Aaaanyway….

Fast forward to the present day. I set Sophia down on the carpet, turned to walk past her, intending to shut the window, somehow knocked her over with my leg which caused her to fall on my foot and scrape the side of her head on my toenail.

Yeah…you can just go ahead and hold off on that Mom of the Year award I know you were planning on giving to me. I really don’t know if there is anything worse than realizing that you have {even unintentionally} injured your child.

And of course, because it’s in such a visible place, now I get the added embarrassment pleasure of explaining to everyone that I scratched my child’s face with my toe.

Not only am I a klutz, I clearly need to spend more time grooming my feet.

I guess, on the positive side, maybe this could help me make a case for getting a good pedicure??

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Don’t forget to enter the Princess of the King giveaway for your chance to win some adorable hair accessories for the favorite little girl in your life!!

File This Under “Messes I Wish I Didn’t Have to Clean Up”

Two messes, all in the space of the past 24 hours:

1. Yesterday while cleaning up the lunch dishes, Lily ran up to me to tell me that her shirt was dirty, and I had my own “is that poop or chocolate?” moment, a la Baby Mama

Don’t worry. I didn’t taste it. And it’s a good thing I didn’t. I will spare you the details on how it got there. Let’s just say potty training can not be over quickly enough.

and

2. Did you know that it’s not a good idea to leave an almost full, extra large, container of liquid laundy detergent on top of your washing machine without the cap on? Because…hypothetically speaking, you could accidentally put too many towels in the wash at once?

And…hypothetically speaking…your washing machine could become unbalanced and start shaking?

And…still speaking hypothetically, said laundry detergent could fall off of the washing machine and dump itself out all over the floor?

And, listen, I realize this is something of a first world problem, but…seriously…whattamess.

Even after wiping and scrubbing and rinsing and wiping and scrubbing and rinsing approximately 58 bajillion times, there is still a slightly sticky film of detergent on the laundry room floor. I have no idea how many years it will take for that to wear off. At least it smells nice.

And on the plus side, I won’t have to use any laundry detergent to wash our beach towels for the rest of the summer since they mopped up somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 loads worth of laundry detergent. Just add water, suds will follow.

A Plethora of Pictures

I think I’ve hit the wall, figuratively speaking when it comes to sleep deprivation. The first couple of weeks I didn’t really feel that tired. But I can only take so many nights of interrupted sleep before it starts to affect me.

Case in point, I went to the grocery store this weekend to buy diapers, juice, and bread. I came back with a birthday present for my niece, batteries, and four packages of thank you notes. All things we needed, but unfortunately, I did not remember the diapers, the juice, or the bread.

On Sunday after I asked him to repeat the same question for like, the seventeenth time in a row, Dave said, “Man, you are really out of it, aren’t you?” Yes. Yes, I am. So if you’ve had a conversation with me in the past week or so and I’ve seemed a little off, now you know why.

Anyway, so I’m not going to type any more for fear that it won’t make sense and just post a few pictures instead.

The day we took Sophia home from the hospital – that outfit barely fits her now. Is it just me or does the second baby grow faster than the first one? Or maybe I’m just so much busier this time that I don’t notice all the little changes…

 

Lily doesn’t quite understand that Sophia doesn’t like playing with Legos and reading books as much as she does :) 

But she loves “reading” to “Baby So-PEE-uh” anyway

I love that face.And that cute little tushie.

 

Such a good big sis – always making sure Sophia has some form of entertainment…

…and a pacifier. Poor Sophia gets that pacifier shoved in her face whether she wants it or not.  

That’s all, ya’ll.

(Did I just say ya’ll? Sorry. It’s the sleep deprivation talking again.)

Have a good Wednesday!

Photo Booth Friday #31 : 34 Weeks

Have you ever given someone an automatic response in a conversation that made absolutely no sense at all? Like, when your waiter says, “Enjoy your meal,” and you say without thinking, “You too!”

Well, I did that the other day. Not the waiter thing, but something equally stupid.

We just had some new neighbors move in down the street and we went to meet them the other day. A snippet of our conversation:

New Neighbor Lady: So Lily is 2, and you’re second one is due when?

Me: October 8th

New Neighbor Lady: Oh, that’s great! I’m due December 12th.

Me: Oh wow, congratulations! I couldn’t even tell that you’re pregnant!

New Neighbor Lady: Yeah, it kind of depends on what I wear.

Me: Yeah, me too.

ME TOO???

Really Amy? REALLY?

I’m pretty sure that at this point it doesn’t matter what I wear, there’s no hiding the fact that I’m pregnant.

So much for making a good first impression. Hopefully she’ll just blame it on the pregnancy brain :)

In other pregnancy news, I think we’ve hit some unofficial milestones. I’ve reached the point in my pregnancy where…

• …it doesn’t matter how stretchy the material is, all of my clothes feel tight…
• …my belly itches.
• …I get heartburn from drinking a glass of water and never leave the house without toting my economy size Tums along with me…
• …when I sit down I’m afraid I might not make it back up unless someone helps me.
• …my belly itches.
• …painting my toenails is a gymnastics feat.
• …so is shaving my legs.
• …did I mention that my belly itches?

And then new with this pregnancy – insomnia. It’s the weirdest thing but I just can’t sleep. I don’t think I’ve woken up feeling really rested for going on 3 weeks now. It’s not even really that I’m uncomfortable, it’s just like my brain won’t shut down.

I would say that I can’t wait to have the baby so I can sleep again, but, well…anyone who has ever had a newborn will recognize the irony of that statement.

Still, overall I can’t complain. So far a healthy, normal pregnancy and we’re praying that in 6 weeks (give or take a few) we’ll have a healthy, normal baby.

I Told You I Was Scatterbrained…

One of these things is not like the others…

Oh pregnant brain…how I’ve missed blaming my stupidity on you!

Some Random Thoughts

Because I’m feeling too lazy to think up an actual post:

• We had the stomach flu this past weekend. And by “we” I really do mean “we”. All three of us. Lily on Saturday, then Dave and I simultaneously late Sunday night/early Monday morning.
  
  
• FYI: I do not recommend being sick at the same time as your spouse. At least not when you have a busy little toddler to take care of. Luckily, Grandma came to our rescue! It’s times like these that make me realize how lucky we are to have family nearby. I don’t know what we would’ve done without her!
  
  
• I lost five pounds. Which ordinarily would be a cause for celebration, but unfortunately, weight loss isn’t really what you’re going for when you’re pregnant.
  
  
• Speaking of the baby, ultrasound’s on Friday! Super excited, but also for some reason kind of nervous this time around. I just keep thinking about all the things that “could” be wrong – continually having to bring those thoughts captive and hand them over to the Lord!
  
  
• Just found out that my brother Brad and his wife Jenny {the ones who just moved} are expecting and due in November, just a month after we are! Sooo super excited!!
  
  
• I’m planning an anniversary trip for Dave and I, and I’m SUPER excited! Nothing huge, just a little getaway for just the two of us. Usually that’s the kind of thing that he does for me so I’m having fun turning the tables and trying to think of fun things that he will enjoy. He doesn’t know where we’re going {actually…neither do I exactly…not yet} just that he needs to take two specific days off work. So I can’t give you any of the juicy details otherwise it will spoil the surprise. But I’ll be sure to fill you in once we’re back.
  
  
• Is there such a thing as a “fruitatarian”? {as opposed to a vegetarian}. Because if so, I’m pretty sure Lily would fall into that category. I have never seen a person eat so much fruit! I’ll bet she gets twice as much as she actually needs in a day – at least it’s healthy! Now as for vegetables? That’s a whole ‘nother story…if you have suggestions about how to get children to eat their veggies, I am all ears.
  
  
• I accidentally left an entire, unopened gallon of milk in the trunk of our car on Saturday afternoon and didn’t realize it until Sunday morning. Darn you pregnant brain! Dave insisted that “it still smelled good” and “we could probably drink it and be just fine” but,  I mean…seriously. It spent the entire night in a room temperature car trunk…I wasn’t having anything to do with it.
  
  
• And a picture…’cause it’s cute:

I love this girl!

Happy Wednesday!

This Is Why Klutzy People Shouldn’t Decorate…

It may look like an innocent curtain rod, but in my hands…it’s practically a lethal weapon.

Our Bedroom Wall

 Our {Brand New} Dresser
{that’s a nice big chip in case you can’t tell through the blur}

I know what you’re thinking…

“You just need to be more careful!”

The sad thing is…that WAS me being careful.

The good news? We’re almost done with the master bedroom! All that’s left is paint. And if you ask me real nice, I might even show you pictures ;)

In Which I Eat Crow

See this picture?

This is my husband, Dave. I know. Wipe that drool off your keyboard. He’s a hottie ;)

This is Dave’s brother, Trey. He’s a nice looking guy, but he’s no Dave :)

Ever since I have known these two, people have been getting them confused. We’ve had complete strangers walk up to Dave and start talking to him, only to realize that they’ve got the wrong brother. I’ve had people tell me how “uncanny” it is that they look so much alike.

I’ve never really understood it. I mean, sure they look similar – they are brothers, after all. But they’re not identical. I can easily tell the difference…

Or at least…I thought I could…*ahem*.

Let me paint a picture for you:

It’s Christmas Day. We’ve just finished indulging in a giant meal of turkey, stuffing, and all the works. The tryptophan has kicked in and I’m feeling sleepy. I get comfy in an armchair and settle in for a little snooze.

Some time passes. I open my eyes and see that everyone is headed out of the room. "Where are you going?” I ask Dave.

“We’re gonna play a card game,” he replies.

Sounds fun. I sleepily rise from the armchair and wander into the other room, where Dave is sitting with his back to me, a deck of cards in front of him.

The rest of the family is a few steps away, telling his grandparents good-bye. I reach out my arms and give Dave a bear hug from behind, hanging on his neck.

{Can you tell where this is going?}

“I’m so tired…” I say in a sleepy voice.

Silence.

Then a voice – a strange voice – says to me, “Uh…Amy?”

And that’s when it hits me.

This is not my husband’s voice!

THIS IS NOT MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!

To say that I was embarrassed would be A VAST UNDERSTATEMENT.

Mortified.

Horrified.

And poor Trey – traumatized.

Lucky for me, my husband and my sister-in-law have a fantastic sense of humor, or I’d have been sleeping in the doghouse for sure.

So. One of these is my husband.

One of these is my brother-in-law.

Go ahead. Get them confused. I will sympathize with you.

And The Winner Is…

I did something on Saturday that I *think* might qualify me for the Blonde Moment of the Year award.

And I’ve decided to broadcast it all over the Internet. Because, ya know, I have no shame.

I had planned a big shopping trip to Hy-Vee {our local grocery store} to get all the supplies for my big Christmas Baking Day. When I pulled into the parking lot it was packed so I was pleasantly surprised when I happened upon someone pulling out of a spot that was super close the the front of the store. And to sweeten the deal, it was adjacent to a cart rack *fist pump* I wouldn’t have to trudge through miles of slush to return my cart. Suh-weet!

I was about halfway through my list when I heard a voice come over the loudspeakers.

“Attention customers. Would the driver of the blue Dodge Intrepid…”

{Hmm…that’s curious. That’s the kind of car I drive.}

“License plate number *** ***”

{GASP! That’s my license plate! What did I do? Did I forget to turn my lights off? Wait, my lights weren’t even on!}

“…please move your car, you are blocking the cart corral. I repeat…”

{Wait…what? No…I didn’t…I mean…that’s not where I par-…OH NO…}

The logical side of my brain was telling  me, "Don’t panic. Nobody knows that’s your car. There’s no need to be embarrassed. Just walk outside and move your car. They’re not out there patrolling the cart corral. Nobody needs to know it was you.”

Um…yeah. TELL THAT TO MY FACE.  I was red as a stoplight and emitting more heat than a tanning bed.

You have to understand something here– I am a rule follower. Ask my husband – I won’t even cheat at a card game. And my hypersensitive conscience absolutely could.not.STAND the thought that the good folks at Hy-Vee might think I did this {gasp} ON PURPOSE! No, no, no…I needed to set the record straight.

So I went to Customer Service, apologizing profusely, "That person…in front of the cart corral..that was me…I’m sorry, I didn’t know…somebody else was there…it’s…I didn’t mean…I mean… it wasn’t intentional. I’m so sorry! I mean, really. SO. SORRY!!”

They were very understanding and {I think} believed me. Either that or they just felt bad for the poor red-faced Binder Lady, I don’t know.

Anyway. I moved my car and not 10 seconds later, someone else pulled in…and blocked it off again.

So maybe I’m not the only stupid one…right? RIGHT??

 

I Should Really Learn To Follow Directions…

You know how some dishes say, “Hand Wash Only”?

Turns out they’re not kidding around with that warning.

Who knew a dishwasher could do so much damage?

Good thing it was a cheap plate!