What I’m Learning: Broken Wrist Edition

“Disappointment is inevitable, discouragement is a choice.”

I can’t remember where I heard this quote but it’s been floating around in my head the past several weeks.

2011 has started out a little rough for us. It hasn’t really been any one “big” thing so much as it has been the accumulation of a lot of “little” things.

After making it through a good portion of the winter with hardly a sniffle, we’ve had weeks of consecutive bouts of sick.

Babies and toddlers off schedule, out of routine, randomly waking up at night = night after night of interrupted sleep for Mommy and Daddy.

A broken wrist, immediately followed by a nasty virus, cramps (after well over a year…UGH), and now a sinus infection {{sigh}}

See? Lots of *little* things.

So I haven’t been on here much simply because the temptation has been for me to a) pretend like everything is normal and I’m just rolling with the punches or b) complain. Neither response is something I’d like to perpetuate.

The truth is, it’s just one of those seasons of life that feels overwhelming. We are…exhausted – emotionally, physically, mentally.

And quite honestly, my first inclination is to just grit my teeth, put my head down, and “get through it.” You know, hold on until everything is “normal” again.

Except…I don’t think that’s the point. God doesn’t just let things happen unintentionally. I don’t think He wants me to go back to “normal”. He’s allowed this pain, this discomfort, this upset of my routine…

…not because He is some sort of sadistic puppetmaster who delights in His control over my life…

…and not because He doesn’t care about me and the minute details of my life…

…but because He does care. Because He knows my inclination when my life and circumstances are going smoothly…

…to ignore my sin

…to avoid dealing with my selfishness

…to sweep my pride under the rug…

…and He loves me far, far to much to let me just continue to wallow in it.

So He’s shaken things up a little.

And it hurts.

And it’s hard.

And I’m tired.

But I am encouraged. Because I’ve been reminded…

…that I cannot control my circumstances but I can always, always control my response to them.

….that I can choose to dwell on truth – not “Lord, I can’t take anymore” but “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,”

…that it’s ok to admit that I don’t always have it all together {ha! as if I was fooling anyone but myself on that one}…

…that there is great joy in having a group of fellow believers to wipe your tears and bring you meals, and love you as you work through all your “junk”…

…that having my parents live nearby is a blessing that I take for granted far too often…

but MOST importantly…

…that God is very, very big. And I am very, very…not.

What He’s doing is so far beyond what’s going on “in my own little world”.

And it isn’t so much an issue of my problems being too big as it is my view of Him being too small.

And that’s what I’ve been learning, in a nutshell. A very large nutshell