Confessions of an {Over}Achiever

Good Monday morning to you!
{Or should I say “afternoon” – I started writing this when it was morning!}

I started today off with one of my new favorite indulgences. A cup of coffee generously sweetened with some of this:

And one of these muffins, leftovers from a recipe I tried this weekend:

Source: velvetlava.blogspot.com via Amy on Pinterest

 

We are coming off a rare but WONDERFUL weekend – the kind where you don’t have anything on the agenda.

Of course we had things we could have accomplished – but we didn’t do any of them…and it felt gooo-oood!

Saturday was rainy and gray and cold so we entertained ourselves with some fort building and movie watching and popcorn eating. After the movie, the four of us were sitting on the couch, our little family just giggling and talking and being silly…just enjoying being together, nothing else. And I realized that we don’t do that nearly enough.

Ever heard of Clifton’s Strengthsfinder? Well, I’ve never taken the assessment, but Dave has and after reading through his book and perusing the list of strengths, I’m about 99.99999% sure this is one of mine:

The Achiever
“You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by "every day" you mean every single day -- workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you.”

I swear to you, that paragraph right there is like peeking through a little window into my brain. I’d never really thought about it that way until I read it but that is EXACTLY how I feel, every single day.

Must. Achieve. Something. Tangible.

And that word, tangible, that’s the key. It’s the reason I think sometimes I feel frustrated by the work I do here at home. Because so much of what I do is intangible. And even the “tangible” things I do are quickly undone.

You sweep the floor after breakfast, it’s covered in crumbs after lunch. You correct an attitude, discipline an offense, teach a manner, and yet, hours {or minutes} later you see that same bad attitude, that same disobedience, those same bad manners.

Being a mom means doing things over and over and over and over often without seeing any direct result and I don’t know about you but that’s hard for my Achiever brain to wrap itself around sometimes.

You see, most of our life is invisible–this noble cause we embrace is often fraught with challenge, exhaustion, relentless repetition, emotion draining, spiritual challenge, and yet this is the very place of our worship. This is the place faith is being forged and character is being modeled and love is going deep into the heart and mind of your children. This is why I champion the cause of motherhood. What you are doing matters so much.
Sally Clarkson

I need to be reminded – it matters. What I am doing is so much more than wiping noses and scrubbing toilets.

I could have spent Saturday doing a multitude of things. I have a dresser that is half painted. Some receipts that need organized. Papers that need filing. All of those would have been worthwhile, tangible accomplishments.

But instead I spent some time relaxing, making memories, building my relationships with my husband and my children, and it was good to be reminded that there are things that are intangible that are worthwhile too.

So, here I am, Monday afternoon, praying that God will help me use my Achiever personality for good without letting it become an idol in my heart…I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be one of those lifelong struggles.