I'm A Big Kid Now...

Lily and I went shopping yesterday (well ok, I went shopping and Lily tagged along). I got a lot of gift cards for Christmas and I’ve been itching to buy something with them. By the way, I think gift cards are one of the best gifts ever invented and if you give me one, I will never EVER think it is cold, insensitive or thoughtless gift. I LOVE them, they are like the gift that keeps on giving. Endless possibilities! But I digress…

So I went to Kohl’s because every sale they have is like “Their Biggest Sale EVER!” and you can always find racks and racks of clearance items – there’s rarely a need to buy anything full price!

I parked the stroller in the middle of the junior’s department and started searching the racks for cute stuff in my size. I happened upon a really cute shirt but the only size they had was XL. I thought, “Eh, probably too big, but I’ll try it on anyway.” Famous last words.

I went to the dressing room and started trying on all my treasures. Guess which shirt was the ONLY one that fit me? Yup. The XL.

I don’t remember what exactly was going through my brain at this point but it was something like, “WHO SIZES THESE THINGS ANYWAY? Stupid person. Probably eats salad for breakfast and drinks water with a side of NOTHING for lunch. Obviously not a person who has ever had a baby. Or a butt. Probably the castaways from America’s Next Top Model. Like, ‘Oh sorry you aren’t good enough to model these clothes but we’ll let you stick sizes on them just for fun. If they fit you, they are a size Medium. If they fit an average person, put an XL on it.”

For reasons unbeknownst to me I decided to step out of the room and view myself in the big 3 way mirror in the hallway – and boy does the Lord have great sense of timing! Who should come along but a friend of mine who also just had a baby…out doing the exact same thing I was.

She stepped in the room and we pretty much just looked at each other and said, “Shopping, huh?” We knew what each other was going through. Tears were shed. We commiserated about how one of our favorite hobbies has become a chore that we detest.

I know there are people reading this who are thinking, “You’ve lost the baby weight Amy.” You are right. I have lost it. I don’t weigh anymore now than I did before, and for that I’m thankful. But I am coming to terms with the idea that my body no longer fits the stereotypical “Junior’s Department” body. I’m not a middle to high school age girl with no hips. I am a woman. I’m not going to say more, but I hope you get my drift.

The thing is…and here is where my voice is going to get a little bit whiny….I’m not ready for the Misses Department! I’m not saying they don’t have nice things…they do. But…I don’t WANNA shop there. That’s where my mom finds her clothes. I love my mom, I think she’s adorable and cute and I hope when I’m her age I look half as good as she does. But for Pete’s sake, she’s 25 years older than me. I don’t want to share clothes with her now! I’m a mom, but I’m a young mom, and I want to look like I’m 25, not 50.

So what do I do? Do I suck it up and shop the Misses department? Or do I stay in Teeny Bopper land and try not to look at the sizes of the clothes that fit me? Isn’t there some sort of middle ground?

I know, I know. It’s not impossible to find things that look good in other departments. And I can try other stores besides Kohls, etc. etc. I just miss the days when I knew what size I was. I mean, if my husband buys me a shirt I really don’t know what to tell him, it’s so complicated. “Well hun, I could be an XS if you are in the women’s section, unless the brand is Daisy Fuentes, then I’m a Medium and if you’re in the junior’s section better make it a 2X just to be sure.” And PANTS – don’t even get me started!

I KNOW I’m not the only one. This is why shows like "What Not to Wear" were created. Because people like me decided shopping was too much work and gave up on it altogether. Stacey and Clinton – help!!!! :)