M,M & M #3: Dumbness

It's Monday...that means it's time for another edition of Meetings, Marriages, and Memories (M,M & M) with Rachel, where we're linking up to tell our love stories. If you're new here, you can catch up on my story here. This is only the 3rd installment, so you haven't missed much yet!

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I'll be honest -- there are some parts of our story that I wish I could just conveniently skip over.  Because as I think we've already established, I didn't have a whole lotta experience when it came to boys. Truthfully, I was kind of a dummy.  But as my {English major} hubby reminded me, good stories include the three C's: color, characters, and conflict. And this week's installment does not disappoint in any of those areas.

Without further ado, I invite you to come along with me as I revisit myself in all my dumbness.

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I learned two important lessons about boys my freshman year of college:

1. 
   
   Being "nice" to a guy is often interpreted as "flirting", whether you mean it to or not.
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Many times when you think a {single} guy is just being "nice" to you, they are actually "flirting".
   
   
   

Unfortunately, I think I learned those lessons the hard way.

I was never a natural flirt. In fact, my natural response when I was talking to a guy I really liked was to withdraw. I couldn't flirt even if I wanted to because my brain just somehow lost the capability to form coherent sentences. I had to work really hard just to get out something like, "The weather sure is nice today," and then the second I said anything my face would turn bright red.

But I could talk to guys I wasn't interested in just fine. With guys I wasn't interested in, I could wax eloquent about anything that came to mind. I could be animated and smiley and just, well, just myself because I wasn't nervous.

I was bewildered as to why I seemed to be attracting interest from all the guys I wasn't interested in. Uh, hello Amy, it's because you're actually talking to them. Duh. Like I said -- dummy.

I can't even begin to tell you all the embarassment I caused myself because of my cluelessness but here's just one example.

I played volleyball and one Friday night after a particularly exhausting game, my friend Holly and I were lounging in my dorm room trying to decide whether or not we wanted to go do something or just be couch potatoes.

My phone rang. "Hey Amy, it's JJ." {Not the real name of a freshman guy friend of mine}

Me:"Oh...hey JJ. What's up?"

JJ:"Oh nothin', just got back from the volleyball game and was thinking of going to get some ice cream or something. Wondering if you'd wanna come."

Ignorant Amy assumed he meant in a group. With other people. Not a date. Why would he be asking me on a date? The thought never even crossed my mind. I turned to Holly, "It's JJ. Wanna go get some ice cream?"

She shrugged, "Sure. Who's going?"

I turned back to the phone, "Sure, me and Holly will come. Who's all gonna be there."

Long pause. Crickets chirping. "Uhhh...just me."

"Oh. OH! Oh, um, ok. Can you hold on just a sec?"  I turned to Holly in desperation, my hand over the receiver. "It's just gonna be him," I hissed.

"Well that's awkward," she said. "You just go, I can stay here."

"But...if you don't go...then it's like, a date," I said.

"Yeah. I think that's what he had in mind," said Holly.

"I can't go on a date with him. I'm not interested. It would give him the wrong impression."

"Then don't go. Tell him no."

"I can't do that. I already said yes. That would be...that would be mean."

Eye roll. Sigh. "Fine. I'll go."

And she did. Me, Holly, and JJ. It was every bit as awkward as we all knew it would be. But at the end of the night, I think JJ got the message that I liked him, just not that way.

 And I was starting to understand that sometime's you have to be honest with a guy, even if you feel like you're being mean.

Unfortunately, there were still many, many more bumps on the road. But those stories will have to wait...

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I have to say a huge thanks to Rachel for doing this -- I was hesitant to join at first because I don't consider myself to be an awesome story teller. But the more I get into it, the more I enjoy it -- and someday we'll have our story written out for our children -- how cool is that?