Today is a day that will forever live in infamy in my mind. Saturday, November 20, 2010 also known as, “The Day My Child Threw A Massive Screaming Temper Tantrum In The Middle of The Department Store.”
At Kohls, to be exact.
It was awesome. If by awesome you mean “horribly stressful and embarrassing.”
I don’t even remember what set it off – and to be perfectly honest, I don’t think Lily remembered either. But she got upset about The Thing That Did Not Go Her Way and once the crying started, well, it did not stop.
I started out fairly calm.
“Lily, you need to stop crying right now. Obey Mommy.”
This usually works. Today it did not.
Somehow it made things worse. More screaming, crying, and oh isn’t this nice? Kicking. I don’t think I need to describe the rest of the scene in detail, but if you’re a parent, you’ve probably experienced something like it (or you will someday in the future).
It ended with me carrying my thrashing child out of the store, past the stares of curious onlookers – some judgmental, most sympathetic.
She was past the point of being responsive to my discipline and I was not in the right frame of mind to administer it at the moment. We both needed to remove ourselves from the situation and calm ourselves down.
She screamed the whole 5 minutes it took us to drive home, then when we pulled in the driveway, I think sensing her impending punishment, stopped and said, “Ok Mommy. I will obey.” Sweet, but…a little too late.
I knew it was somewhat inevitable that this would happen someday. Even if you’ve got an angel of a toddler, they are bound to test you in public at some point, unless you sequester yourself at home for a couple of years which, believe me, I’ve considered.
But I guess somewhere in the recesses of my mind I hoped maybe I’d be the lucky one. After all, Lily is a fairly obedient child. We have our moments but on the whole, she listens. And even at home we’ve never quite experienced a temper tantrum of this magnitude.
But, alas, it was not to be. I’ve walked through yet another rite of passage as a parent. The Public Temper Tantrum. Is it ridiculous to hope I’ll never experience another one?
By the way, I won’t get into particulars, but once we got home, she received her punishment. She cried some more (this time repentantly not rebelliously), we hugged, and then we had a little discussion about what she did wrong and what she should do next time. I wasn’t sure exactly how much of what I said she truly understood until later. Sophia was crying and Lily leaned over and said in a very serious voice, “So-PEE-uh, don’t throw a fit. You’ll get a spankin’”
Maybe I am getting through to her.
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By the way…I hate disclaimers, but I feel I need to add one here. We believe that spanking is a biblically sanctioned method of discipline for willful disobedience. While it is certainly not the only way we choose to correct our children, we believe it is most effective in the early years for helping teach the importance of obedience and respect for those in authority, and when lovingly, calmly, and consistently administered is not child abuse. There IS a difference. We do not spank out of exasperation or as a last resort and we do not spank when we are angry. If you care to know more about the particulars of how we administer the spanking, contact me privately and I’d be happy to let you know :)
9 comments:
How ironic. I've only had to leave a store once with the Karis, and it was Kohls. Must be something in the air. :-) You handled it well. :-)
I, too, secretly hope I'll be the lucky one who never has to deal with this. But I'm sure Hannah's public temper tantrum is coming some day. :) Sounds like you handled it well. And I do hope you never have to carry Lily out of a store again. :)
Bless your heart! It's so hard being a mom sometime, but it does sound like you're getting through to her!
That's kind of the nice thing about having 3 kids so young.....I never take them to shopping ;) Hayden is so enamored {currently} with HyVee & Walmart that he is just talks the whole time. I'm sure my days with this are numbered :)
Love the disclaimer. It's been awhile, but I think I've used a very similar one myself :) I think this topic kind of requires it :)
I wish you the best with those public tantrums. Fun, aren't they? But you made it through it! Congrats.
I know it's only an opinion. And one from a complete stranger. But for what it's worth, I don't think you need to explain yourself about spanking. I know people are going to run across your blogs and criticize you for spanking. But it's your and your husband's decision. And you are definitely a Christan person, and going to do it for the right reasons. It's nice to read your disclaimer, but just remember that, no matter what, people are going to judge. Just remember that you are clearly doing a good job being a mommy!
Loving your disclaimer :) I need to memorize that to use if ever asked - very nicely worded!
Aw ... I've been there. Actually, I still have my moments with them where I have to have a tone and a look.
This too will pass.
Oh, girl. I've been there. And my kids are usually really well behaved in stores too! But, there's always that one moment, out of the ordinary, and you just want to scream to everyone around you, "Really, she's usually so well behaved! We do discipline her and she's a loving, respectful child! Stop judging me!" I think you handled it the best way possible. And I like your disclaimer too. :)
I know it's hard to believe those lil' angels can throw such tantrums. I do believe I've been there, too. Psh... I had a moment with one of mine yesterday. Only they grow out of the screaming fit... they don't want to embarrass themselves. ;) Ironic, yes?
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