December, 2008.
I gaze down at the soft pink bundle asleep in my arms. Tiny eyelashes feathered against smooth skin. Fists curled tightly, breaths even, the rise and fall of her chest so slight you can barely tell if she’s breathing.
But she is. Sleeping peacefully. My newborn baby girl.
To my left, white lights twinkle on the branches of a pine tree, their soft glow illuminating the ornaments hung with care. It is almost Christmas. The twenty-fourth Christmas I will have been alive to celebrate, and yet, in so many ways it feels like the very first.
How many times have I heard the story? Joseph and a very pregnant Mary. A donkey ride to Bethlehem. No room. A stable. And Jesus, born as a baby.
A baby.
Like the one in my arms. How could I have known the story all these years and yet not grasp the significance of that? God as man, but not just man.
God as a baby.
For just a moment, I close my eyes and imagine that I am Mary. That the baby in my arms is not my firstborn daughter, but instead Jesus. It’s almost more than I can fathom.
Jesus, needing someone to feed him?
Jesus, needing someone to change his diaper?
Jesus, the one who created the world so utterly dependent on the very beings He created?
What kind of love could motivate Someone with such infinite power to lower Himself to such a humble position? Of course, I know the answer. The same kind of love that would motivate Him to die for the very ones who killed Him.
I’ve known it for years and yet, somehow, this Christmas it resonates with me more deeply. God, as a baby, like my baby.
Emmanuel.
God with us.
4 comments:
Beautifully written.
I feel as if my heart is now beginning to grasp more of the miracle of Christ coming to earth now that I am a mom. I do the same thing you did, I close my eyes and ponder all that Mary went through and how she was able to care for her savior.
Motherhood changes everything, doesn't it? Beautiful post. :)
24th Christmas, Amy? I think you need some more sleep girl! Believe me, I only recognize the symptoms because I feel them myself all too well lately! ;-)
Anyway, love this song. And love Francsca Battistelli's "You're Here" too - can't help but cry when I'm holding Micah listening to that!
I remember when I made that amazing discovery only 2 Christmases ago as I held my little Cody. I definitely gained more of an understanding of what went through Mary's mind as she held baby Jesus. She was only a human mom just like we are with the same worries and concerns only probably amplified! Love your post Amy thanks for the reminder!
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