On Being Weary

If you were to ask, I would tell you that the last 6 months have been comprised of some of the most difficult, painful, and wearying circumstances of our lives.

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It seems we have been facing difficulties in nearly every circumstance and arena of our life – emotional, physical, spiritual – at work, at church, in relationships with each other and relationships with others – most have been things that for discretions sake I have not felt I had the liberty to talk about on here.

There have been moments where I’ve taken deep breaths in and thought, “Ok. Now, now there will be a break. Now we will get a breather.” Only to be plunged back into the thick of the struggle.

And I will confess to you. I am tired. I woke up Monday morning with a headache, feeling discouraged and weary and as I sat in front of my Bible, my eyes barely registering the words on the page, all I could think was, “Why?”

I know the answers in my head. God is more concerned about my holiness than He is my happiness. He uses the circumstances of my life as part of the sanctification process to make me more like Him. But that whiny little toddler in me keeps saying, “I don’t wanna! Isn’t there an easier way?”

The short answer, I think, is no. There’s not.

There is a book I’m reading called Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas about – you guessed it - -parenting! But the truths I have read in there this week have been so applicable to other areas of my life. He says:

Today’s Christian usually prays for relief, for comfort, and for healing – but that’s not always what Scripture teaches us to do. For example, the apostle Paul prayed that the Colossians would be “strengthened with all power according to [God’s] glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience” (Colossians 1:11)

Instead of immediately asking for their deliverance, Paul prayed that the believers in Colosse would grow in maturity. If you think about it, how do we grow in endurance and patience? Only one path exists: to have both our endurance and patience sorely tried, even past the breaking point, until we rest in God’s “glorious might”…If God gives us situations we already have the strength to handle, we won’t have to grow in order to deal with them.

He goes on to say:

If we lived merely by inclination or happiness, our lives – and our world – would become a ruin. G.K. Chesterton confesses, “In everything on this earth that is worth doing there is a stage when no one would do it except for necessity or honor.”

Is my prayer always to be removed from the difficulty? If I were to answer honestly, I would have to say, yes. And yet, the message of the Bible is to “count it all joy” when we “face trials of every kind.”

JOY? Really? Are you sure that’s what you meant Lord?

I am learning – very slowly and very painfully – that truly “all is grace”. That the most difficult times forge the most character and that we will never reach the maturity we hope for if we do not endure difficulty.

I love these words and a story that Gary Thomas shared in his book. He was speaking of dealing with difficult children, but the same truth applies no matter who the difficult person in your life is. He says:

“In our struggles and our weariness, may we never get to the place of self-righteousness, forgetting that God has forgiven us, is patient with us, and endures our own failings to an even greater extent than we do…While [people] may occasionally provoke us with offensive words, God sees every offensive inclination of our hearts. For every single offense which we forgive [others], God forgives us many times over. He remains patient with us for many times longer than we must exercise patience with [others]. He doesn’t ask anything of us…that he hasn’t delivered a hundred times over himself…

Consider how many times you have broken your promises once offered fervently and earnestly to God. Consider on how many occasions you have said or thought or even done vile things in full sight of a holy and perfect God. Consider God’s eagerness to forgive you, the persistence of his grace, the limitless supply of his understanding and patience and mercy – all offered without condition on your behalf. Without difficult [people], we might take this patience and mercy and forgiveness for granted….

An ancient story tells of a monastery with a very difficult monk – a contentious, obnoxious, arrogant, and divisive man. If an argument erupted, odds were good that he was somehow involved. Any group of murmuring brothers almost certainly had his name on their lips. This monk had no friends but many enemies, and finally even he grew tired of the animosity and left the order.

While the brothers rejoiced, the abbot quickly realized his loss. he pursued the contentious monk and tried to persuade him to return…imagine the other monks’ consternation when they saw this hapless fellow walk back into the compound! When they discovered that he would receive a salary to live there, they grew furious. One marched over to the abbot’s office to ask for an explanation.

The wise abbot responded, ‘This brother, as troublesome as he may be, nevertheless teaches you patience, kindness, and compassion; that is why we need him here. No one else can teach you the lessons he teaches.”

So I am being taught…to rejoice in the difficult circumstances that are teaching me lessons that I would not learn otherwise. To bend my will to His. To welcome the struggles as opportunities for growth. And when the burdens feel to great to bear, I will turn to Him for strength.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9