Expectation vs. Reality

Easter.

Oh, Easter!

I had such grand visions and plans for how the day would go.

I got a great deal on adorable coordinating dresses and headbands for the girls.

A cute new shirt for me.

I spent some time thoughtfully purchasing some favorite Easter candy and a few small toys that I knew the girls would love.

I woke up 2 1/2 hours early so I would be sure to have time to do everything: make rolls for family dinner, curl mine and the girls' hair, do Easter baskets, take a family picture.

I spent considerable time the night before painting Lily and Sophia's fingers and toes a special color...

...only to have most of it come off in the bathtub Saturday night {what's up with that, Essie??}

The girls got into their Easter baskets while Dave and I were getting ready {shouldn't have set them out the night before!}

We took a family picture...that ended tearfully.

Lily and Sophia wriggled and complained while I curled their hair {even though they had been begging me to do it all week}

I didn't have time to curl my hair {and I'm really not happy with how it looks right now}

By the time we got to church, the backs of their heads were frizzy from rubbing against carseats, Sophia had declared her headband "too itchy" and was wearing it around her tummy like a belt.

Expectations.

Reality.

This happens A LOT around the holidays. I make plans and things don't go *exactly* the way I pictured they would. I can be good at rolling with the punches...sometimes. But when I put a lot of time and effort into something, when I really plan and try hard to make things special, there is something inside of me that starts to think I *deserve* a certain outcome.

*Sigh*

On the way to church, I sat back mentally rehashing all the stresses of the morning and I felt myself tensing up, thinking, "This isn't how Easter was supposed to be!"

Then I remembered...how silly of me to forget

Easter isn't about pretty dresses or girls in curls or Easter baskets or family pictures. Those are fun. Those aren't wrong. But when I start to hold them up like some sort of idol, feeling like I can't be happy when that stuff isn't "right", I've missed what Easter is really all about.

Easter is about a God who entered into our messy lives. Fully God, fully man, completely perfect in a world filled with imperfections. Murdered and laid in a grave...but not for long. He came to save us from this self-made mess we are in. The reality is: I am

totally, completely, 100% forgiven. Penalty paid.

He beat death, and because of that, I can live.

The thing is...if I set my hope on the temporal -- the Easter candy and the pretty pictures -- well, there's not a lot of hope in that.

But when I set my hope in Him and what He did for me...nobody can take that joy away from me. Ever.

I can be happy even when my hair doesn't curl and we take 1500 pictures and only have one decent one. Even whenI get a raging headache and when the girls throw temper tantrums after having too much Easter candy and not enough nap.

I can be happy even when grieving the loss of two babies that I'll never hold this side of heaven.

Here on earth, grief and joy will forever be intertwined. Expectations will be disappointed,hopes dashed. But, praise Jesus, we don't have to live for this world only.

In the sweet words of Sophia, "He die on duh cross!" and as Lily reminded me, "Jesus rose-ded from the dead!"

Happy Easter to you!