Ramblings of a Nine Months Pregnant Lady

So last I updated here I was 23 weeks pregnant and today marks the beginning of week 37. I could do the math to tell you how many months its been but I don't feel I can expend the mental energy right now. Suffice it to say, much has changed. I'm looking out the window at gorgeous green trees instead of ugly stick bare ones, the birds are chirping and my stomach is roughly the size of small country.

Everything with this pregnancy has been cruising right along as I had prayed it would, the reality of impending labor and alllllll that entails has begun to sink in (they say you forget the pain but they lie! I remember it quite well now that I'm about to experience it again thankyouverymuch)

Yesterday I had my 37 week appointment and my third or fourth ultrasound. They've been keeping an eye on my fluid levels because they were low when I was pregnant with Sophia. Turns out my fluid levels are fine but they cannot stop talking about the size of this little guy inside me. I'm kinda starting to worry that he might come out sporting facial hair and a 'tude, the way they are tossing around adjectives, "very large" "he is sooo long!" "Chubby cheeks"

His measurements are in the 90th percentile, but they assure me that he's big all over and that's a good thing. And they estimated his current weight at 8 pounds 2 ounces, with three more weeks till my due date....have mercy! They've assured me that these are just estimates and they can be up to a pound off, so there's still a chance that he might not come out as roughly the size of a first grader. I'm very much hoping this is the case (see previous statements RE: labor pain) The doctor really does not seem to be very concerned about it at this point though, so I'm trying to take my cues from her.

This pregnancy has been blessedly uneventful, for which I am so thankful. It's also been such a different experience from my girl pregnancies. Apart from the fact that he measures so big and they were small-normal, I am huge...or I feel like it. I'm retaining water like crazy which has given me the oh-so-coveted pregnancy cankles. I can't wear my wedding ring, and my weight gain has just officially climbed to twice as much as what it was with my girls. I'm wearing Dave's sweatpants right now which is just...awesome ;) And this baby is a low ri-der, so....I go to the bathroom a lot. Four times in the middle of the night last night. Four! This probably also explains why I'm not sleeping very soundly at night. Never fear, I am now taking daily afternoon naps to help counter the loss of sleep because along with the labor pain, I also remember the middle of the night feeding stage aka, "will I ever sleep again?!?"

In all seriousness though, when I think about the road we've traveled to get to this point, I'm overwhelmed and a little in awe at the goodness of God. He didn't owe me another baby or a healthy pregnancy and I've done nothing to deserve the privilege of carrying a third child in my womb, something that so many women ache to do just once. I don't fully comprehend what He is doing in my life or the methods He uses to accomplish His purpose, but I do know that I trust Him. 

Even with as far as we've come I know I am not guaranteed to come out of this pregnancy with a healthy, whole, alive baby in my arms. It doesn't always end that way for everyone - it HASN'T ended that way for people that I know personally. There's never any guarantee that we'll be spared tragedy in this or any other area of our life, and honestly? That can be a scary thing to think about. All I know is, it is His goodness that brings the blessings and his goodness that allows the pain.

A few weeks ago, I was flipping through my planner from 2013, checking to make sure I had a few birthdays written correctly in my 2014 one. As I was looking back over everything that had filled up those calendar squares, I stopped short when I saw what was written in June 12. One simple word: *surgery*

June 12, 2013, I was in the hospital for a simple D and C procedure to remove remnants of my second failed pregnancy. We hadn't yet completely put our finger on what the problem was and there was a part of me that was beginning to doubt that we would ever be able to have any more children biologically.

It gives me goosebumps to think that in that hard moment, during that time of doubt and fear and dark, God had already planned for this little one to be coming, due:

June 12, 2014

Seriously. How awesome is our God?

I spent so much time longing to feel those pokes and jabs and kicks. Hoping to see my belly grow to massive proportions, to nurture life inside of me. I wasn't really hoping for the cankles, but apparently, that's part of the package :) And really - I joke about the weight gain and the pain and the discomfort but when it comes right down to it, I gladly endure the pain for the sake of the life of this little (big) guy inside of me.

We can't wait to meet you, buddy!!!