Book Review: For Women Only

I recently finished reading a book and thought it was so good, I wanted to share it with you all. Maybe you have heard of it, or even read it yourself. It is called, “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhan and it is amazing.

Basically, Feldhan was doing research for another book she was in the process of writing – a work of fiction called The Lights of Tenth Street (which I am now totally going to read). She was trying to get a better understanding of the male mind so she could really make her main character in the book believable. Through the course of her research, she learned what she thought were some really surprising things about guys – what they are thinking and feeling and what makes them tick.

This book is basically a compilation of the research she did. It’s a tiny little book that I think took me all of 2 hours to read – partly because it really is a small book, but also largely due to the fact that I could not put it down.

It was fascinating, eye-opening, and humbling.

Let me just be clear – and Feldhan really emphasizes this in the introduction as well – this is not a “Bible study book.” Although the author is a Christian and she does approach the issues in the book from a biblical standpoint, it is not intended to be a chapter and verse book about what the Bible says about men. It is merely observations based on many hours of careful research about the inner workings of the average man’s mind. However, I really think that as a Christian woman, the knowledge and insight I have gained from this book will help me tremendously in understanding my husband in order to be the type of godly wife the Bible commands me to be.

Here are a couple of my thoughts:

1. I do not understand my husband (or guys in general) nearly as well as I thought I did. After 1 year of friendship, 1 year of dating, and almost 4 years of marriage, I really felt like I knew Dave pretty well. As I went through the book though, I would stop and read certain paragraphs and sentences to him that I thought were particularly surprising and ask him if that was really true, or if that was how he felt and I was amazed at how many times he would smile and say, “Yeah, it is. You didn’t know that?”
   


2. I think that many women in our society have a general misunderstanding of why guys act and respond to situations the way that they do, and it would do everyone a world of good if we spent a little more time trying to understand them instead of belittling them. It seems that society has made it acceptable for a woman to make fun of a man, but turn the tables and the man becomes a chauvinistic pig. (Example: Joan Rivers has a book called, Men are Stupid, And They Like Big Boobs. Can you imagine a guy writing a book and calling it Women are Dumb and They Like Big Muscles? Women would be outraged!) I was challenged to show more respect, not only to my husband, but also to the male population in general.

I would recommend this book to every woman – regardless of how long you’ve been married or how much you think you know about the way guys operate, I think the information given might surprise and challenge you as well! I know I wish I had read this before we got married – I think we might have avoided quite a lot of miscommunication if I had! However, a word of caution -- you need to be open and humble enough to admit that there might be things you need to change in light of the information you find!

If you’d like to learn more about the book click here. To read an excerpt click here.

One other thing to note – Shaunti and her husband collaborated on a book for men called, For Men Only. It basically turns the tables and lets guys get some insight into what’s going on in our heads. I can’t wait to read it (and have Dave read it as well)! If her insights for men are as spot on as they are for women, I think we both will have a much better understanding of each other! If you are interested in reading an excerpt from that book click here.