We've all seen them. The parents whose children can do no wrong."Johnny is just the sweetest little boy. Always thinking of others, " the mom declares with her back turned as Johnny pummels the little boy in the nursery, grabbing his toy and screaming, "MINE!"
Maybe you've never met one of these ignorant souls yourself, but having worked at a middle school -- even for 2 short years -- I can tell you with certainty that they exist.
I'll never forget one of them -- she stormed into the office one afternoon, indignant that her daughter was being accused of alcohol abuse. "I know my daughter," she said. "She would NEVER do something like this. Those girls are making up stories about her."
I don't know for a fact that her daughter was drinking alcohol, but I do know this -- just 2 weeks later that same mom was back in the school office. Her daughter was in the nurse's office hyped up on some prescription medicine (not prescribed to her) that some kid had peddled her from his backpack.
It was a real eye opener for that mom -- and not a moment too soon.
I had an eye opening experience of my own just the other day.
It was mealtime for Lily and I was putting her in her high chair. The problem? Lily did not want to be in her high chair. And she let me know. Oh boy did she let me know!
She arched her back.
She shook her head.
She made angry noises.
She kicked her legs.
And then she BIT me.
Yes, BIT me. With all two of her teeth.
I just sat there staring at her. This 10 month old going on the Terrible Two's. And after a very stern, "No!" accompanied by a "Mommy-is-serious-and-you'd-best-not-be-doing-that-again" look, I thought to myself:
"Where in heaven's name did that come from? Who are you and what have you done with my sweet baby girl?"
Up to this point, discipline issues have been minimal. We aren't afraid to tell her no -- and we do, when she touches things she shouldn't, etc. But willful disobedience? That's only happened in my nightmares. I've known that it has been coming -- this sweet honeymoon period of good behavior and unquestioned obedience can only last for so long.
Yet I still found myself echoing the thoughts of that mom, "I know my daughter. She would never do that."
But she did. And I was staring her in the face when she did it.
It should come as no surprise. When the Bible says that "All have sinned" it means all. We are born with a natural bent towards our own way. Nobody has to teach us to be selfish -- just observe a roomful of toddlers someday and you'll quickly see that man's natural tendency is not to "Do unto others."
So why was this display of temper such a shock to my system? I think, when it comes down to it, it was a matter of pride for me. My daughter's behavior is a reflection on me as a parent. If she behaves badly, well, it reflects badly on my parenting.
Much as I hate to admit it, this inicident probably isn't as isolated as I think. If I honestly evaluate my actions, give myself a little constructive criticism, I think I'll find there are areas of discipline that I need to improve on. Little behaviors that, if ignored can lead up to a big fat temper tantrum at mealtime. I just need to put on my big girl panties and admit that *gasp* I'm not a perfect parent.
At the same time, I also need to recognize that even if I were a perfect parent, God has endowed my little baby girl with something called free will. That means despite my best efforts, there are still going to be moments where she is stubborn as a mule and a little hot headed. She comes by it naturally, I'm afraid -- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
And so I pray. For wisdom, patience, grace, mercy...and oh yes, did I mention wisdom and patience?
And I'm forever thankful for the example of the One who is a perfect parent. He's seen more than His fair share of temper tantrums from me and yet He keeps loving me, guiding me, and doing what's best for me, even when I throw a fit. I can only hope to live up to the example He has set for me!
She arched her back.
She shook her head.
She made angry noises.
She kicked her legs.
And then she BIT me.
Yes, BIT me. With all two of her teeth.
I just sat there staring at her. This 10 month old going on the Terrible Two's. And after a very stern, "No!" accompanied by a "Mommy-is-serious-and-you'd-best-not-be-doing-that-again" look, I thought to myself:
"Where in heaven's name did that come from? Who are you and what have you done with my sweet baby girl?"
Up to this point, discipline issues have been minimal. We aren't afraid to tell her no -- and we do, when she touches things she shouldn't, etc. But willful disobedience? That's only happened in my nightmares. I've known that it has been coming -- this sweet honeymoon period of good behavior and unquestioned obedience can only last for so long.
Yet I still found myself echoing the thoughts of that mom, "I know my daughter. She would never do that."
But she did. And I was staring her in the face when she did it.
It should come as no surprise. When the Bible says that "All have sinned" it means all. We are born with a natural bent towards our own way. Nobody has to teach us to be selfish -- just observe a roomful of toddlers someday and you'll quickly see that man's natural tendency is not to "Do unto others."
So why was this display of temper such a shock to my system? I think, when it comes down to it, it was a matter of pride for me. My daughter's behavior is a reflection on me as a parent. If she behaves badly, well, it reflects badly on my parenting.
Much as I hate to admit it, this inicident probably isn't as isolated as I think. If I honestly evaluate my actions, give myself a little constructive criticism, I think I'll find there are areas of discipline that I need to improve on. Little behaviors that, if ignored can lead up to a big fat temper tantrum at mealtime. I just need to put on my big girl panties and admit that *gasp* I'm not a perfect parent.
At the same time, I also need to recognize that even if I were a perfect parent, God has endowed my little baby girl with something called free will. That means despite my best efforts, there are still going to be moments where she is stubborn as a mule and a little hot headed. She comes by it naturally, I'm afraid -- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
And so I pray. For wisdom, patience, grace, mercy...and oh yes, did I mention wisdom and patience?
And I'm forever thankful for the example of the One who is a perfect parent. He's seen more than His fair share of temper tantrums from me and yet He keeps loving me, guiding me, and doing what's best for me, even when I throw a fit. I can only hope to live up to the example He has set for me!
P.S. For those wondering where I've been the past few days -- it's a long story -- but basically, the power cord to our laptop broke and we were given the option of either paying $80 for the one they had in the store, or waiting a week to have the one that was covered in our warranty shipped to us for FREE. I don't have to tell you which option we chose.
3 comments:
Oh dear! We've just realized those times again with Lexi! The days of eating out are over for a while in our house! Plus the temper tantrums! You are right, I personally take it as a reflection of me as a parent and struggle, so thanks for the reminder that it wouldn't matter even if I was! You are too cute! Just like Lilly!
I love reading your thoughts! This is so right on. I never thought I would take everything so personally as a parent, but sometimes I feel like every action of MINE translates into either a desirable or undesirable action in my child. And that's just an awful thing to try to live up to. The paragraph you wrote about free will was perfect - I think I'll need to put it on a post-it over my mirror to read it every day. Especially when those teenage years come :)
Amy,
Sounds like Ava and Lilly might have a good time together this week. At almost 8 months Ava has started this, as well. What a great reminder that we need to be seeking God and on our knees in prayer for these little souls that need a savior! wow. Great post! And, I might take you up on those boxes... :)
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