It never ceases to amaze me how, as a mother, the same event can produce within my heart two diametrically opposed emotions.
She smiles for the first time, and my heart swells with joy….
She masters the pincer grasp and I feel a sense of pride…
She extends her leg to take that first wobbly step and I clap and laugh and encourage…
She learns to say words like, “Coat” and “Ok” and “Uh-oh” and I am convinced that the English language has never sounded sweeter.
With every new experience, every step towards independence, my mother’s heart exclaims with pride, “My baby girl is growing up!!”
And yet…
She wiggles and squirms when I want to snuggle and cuddle….
She learns to use a spoon and fork and no longer depends on me to provide her sustenance…
Her onesies barely snap over her pudgy belly…her legs extend inches beyond the hem of her pants and I’m forced to pack them away…
With every new experience, every step towards independence, my mother’s heart weeps, “My baby girl is growing up…”
Someday, Lord willing, I’ll join the ranks of countless other mothers and watch…
….as she marches across the stage to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance…
….walks down the aisle, radiant in white to join the love of her life…
…glows with the air of a newly expectant mother…
…and sits with a newborn baby of her own nestled gently against her chest...
And I will proudly say, “That’s my baby!”
Even as my heart is crying, “But she’s not a baby…”
Bitter. Sweet.
7 comments:
Oh amy.....I don't even want to think about this yet :S
Why are you trying to make me cry on a Monday morning? Why?!
Such a precious picture... and, yes, bitter-sweet. I can't even bring myself to think about it. Sigh.
Wow! What a day I've had to read this blog!...It's quite fitting, actually. We started today to wean Josiah from his pacifier. He's 17 months and only uses it at bedtime and naptime, but it's definitely time. He was so sad and heartbroken and also mad at his naptimes today. He cried and cried, which also made me cry and cry. :)
I felt sad to make him so sad and upset, but I also felt happy that he'd reached another growing milestone of independence. It's encouraging to see that he's growing and becoming a little boy, but it's also heartbreaking to see that he's growing up so fast and doesn't "need" a pacifier anymore. Thanks for your post today...it's nice to see another mommy thinking some of the same thoughts as me today.
What a sweet post! Bitter and sweet it is the perfect description.
That was so sweet. Too sweet, in fact, for now I have tears in my eyes. Thanks a lot. ;)
this has got to be the sweetest post i have ever read. so sweet!
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