Broken

She brought the doll to me in two pieces. Her favorite princess somehow lost an arm. I made a blundering attempt to fix it and accidentally broke off the leg, too.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. She’s broken and I don’t think we can fix it. We’ll probably just have to get rid of her.”

She looked at me with the innocence of a child and said, “It’s ok, Mommy. I can still love her even if she’s broken.”

It took my breath away. The candor of a child…did she have any idea the truth in the words she had spoken?

“I can still love her even if she’s broken.”

Me – the adult.

Me – the “mature” one.

Me – the one who has been loved in my brokenness.

And yet, so quick to dispose of anything that meets my less than perfect standards. So quick to dismiss what I thought of as worthless.

She – the child. Proclaiming with simplicity the view of the world through her eyes.

I saw the brokenness. She saw the need - to be loved in spite of the imperfection.

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Truthfully, I’ve been a little overwhelmed by all of the brokenness lately.

The vacuum cleaner.

The toys.

My body.

The test with only one pink line.

The little girl with the cancer.

The mom with four kids who just put her husband in a grave.

And just this morning, news of a shooting in a kindergarten classroom. Kindergarten. Such senseless loss and horrific violence, I just don’t understand it.

How do you live in a world where everywhere you turn you see evidence of what has been broken?

Because as hard as we might try to paint a different picture, the evidence is all around us. We are, all of us, groaning under the weight of the death and decay of a broken world. When you stare at your TV screen showing images of an elementary school and bear up under the reality of 18 dead children, you cannot help but acknowledge it.

Something is wrong with us.

There will be finger pointing and psychological analysis of the shooter, there will be all kinds of theories. It was the guns! It was the video games!

Certainly there were external factors at work, but truthfully, the real answer lies in the very beginning of one of the oldest books, when the first daughter reached for the forbidden fruit.

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

We don’t want to believe it, but it’s true. We are wicked. Not just the man who shot up the Kindergarten class. His is just a full grown manifestation of the sin that already lies in each and every one of our hearts.

I have to remind myself when the weight of the world becomes too much for me, that this isn’t a shock to Him. He already knew this would happen, and He set a plan in motion from the very start to fix what has been broken. It just doesn’t necessarily happen the way we think it should.

We want a physical healing, perfection in our circumstances and removal of pain and problems, yet He sees that our greatest need is something much deeper. We need spiritual renewal. We need to be clothed in His righteousness instead of the filthy rags of our own.

We need a baby in a manger. A man who was fully human and yet fully God, who lived a life of perfection that we cannot ever attain and died a death that we fully deserve.

We need Jesus.

*************

That doll, she can’t do a thing to fix herself. And neither can I. But He didn’t discard me. He made a way to meet my deepest need – forgiveness.

"I can still love her, even if she’s broken.”

And He did – He does.

****************

Sometimes, it feels like too much. There’s just too much hurt and too much pain. There is so much darkness and so little light. I don’t understand why He allows it to continue, but He doesn’t operate on my timetable. If it were up to me, I probably would have given up on the whole thing long ago, but He reminds me, there are still broken people that He wants to redeem.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

2 Peter 3:9

He is going to make things right, someday. But in the meantime, I have to be patient and trust His timing.

Today I am weeping with those who have lost precious loved ones, and I am praying for the light of Jesus to shine through this tragedy. He is the only hope for this broken world.