Consider the Bar Lowered

Hey there!

Hope your week is off to a good start!

We are just coming off of a very full week/long weekend that involved, among other things, a birthday party and a visit from Dave's parents. I am truly blessed to be able to say that I love my in-laws and our time together never seems long enough!

Anywho, they left early this A.M. and we are attempting to slip back into our groove. I'm declaring today to be pajama day...one of the benefits of homeschooling ;)

But, first - the birthday party.

Since the girls birthdays are so close together, and since Dave's parents live so far away, and since our families have collectively somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty-two bajillion (just a rough estimate) birthdays in September/October, we combine the girls family birthday party into one. We still celebrate them individually on their birthdays, but we only get together to celebrate them once.

Now, listen. I like to plan a party. I really do. But this year has been crazy and I just determined, we are not doing anything fancy. Cake from a mix, frosting from a can, no homemade decorations, no party favors. Just some food and some family, low key, low stress.

Then I got on Pinterest. And I saw all these fantastic party ideas that other moms were doing for all their kids. And I started to feel a wave of insecurity. Like, wait! What if my girls look back on their party pictures years for now and realize that they were the only ones who had a mom that didn't hand stitch stuffed animals out of felt for their party?!? What if they feel cheated that they didn't get a ombré/ruffle/triple layer fondant birthday cake? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY REALIZE I BOUGHT PURPLE FROSTING IN A CAN!

{source}

It wasn't pretty. Thankfully, reality gave me a big ol slap in the face and reminded me:

-my kids don't need a fancy party to know I love them and,

-a fancy party won't show then I love them if I'm stressed out over the details and,

-ombré ruffle fondant cakes? Ain't nobody got time (or money) for dat! And,

-this was all really more about my ego than it was about doing something for my girls.

*ouch* 

My girls wanted three things in a party. They wanted to see their friends and family. They wanted to eat some sugar. And they wanted to open presents. They might've thought a fancy cake was cool but that would all have just been icing on the cake (pun totally intended).

I was not going to let Pinterest bully me into a big fancy party that I just did not have the time or energy it would take to plan it.

The night before the party I was talking with a friend whose children also have fall birthdays and confessing our Pinterest induced mommy guilt over not being able to do the stuff that all the other moms are doing and she said, "I just feel like the bar has been set SO HIGH."

Well, friends. Consider the bar lowered.

My party decorations consisted of a plastic tablecloth (gasp!), some cartoony Sofia the First plates and napkins (the horror!) and balloons. 

The invitations we sent out were just generic, purchased from Target, non-photo, non-Etsy, they didn't even really MATCH the party theme because we couldn't find Sofia the First ones.

The only concession we made to Pinterest was that we had a s'mores bar instead of a cake and that was only because we ran out of time to bake the cake because we had been enjoying spending time with Grandma and Grandpa. Plus it was a cool day and we had already planned on a fire in the fire pit, so why not roast s'mores too?  We just bought a couple kinds of chocolate and a couple kinds  of marshmallows and stuck them on some plates...way easier than making a cake BTW.

and guess what?

It was still a really nice party.

The girls loved it.

I actually enjoyed it instead of stressing.

Memories were made and the girls were loved on and made to feel special, and really, when it comes right down to it, isn't that what birthday parties are supposed to be about?

Yes, you can make your child feel special by having an over the top celebration for them. But honestly? Most kids are just as happy with a simple celebration that reflects their mama's love for them. Quite frankly, if my kids CAN'T be happy with a humble celebration, I'm doing something wrong.

I get it. Some moms really get their kicks from planning a party. I like it too, on occasion, and I'm not saying its wrong to plan a big celebration every once in awhile. But, PLEASE, let's just stop with the ridiculous notion that those things are essential to our or our children's happiness.

So if you genuinely enjoy planning an amazingly detailed party for your child, go ahead. But if you're feeling guilted into doing something and stressed out about it, PUT DOWN THE PINTEREST APP and hop over the lowered bar next to me. It tastes like freedom and store bought frosting over here ;)